Friday, September 22, 2006

been watching french shows lately.
jeux d'emfants = love me if u dare.
they always have strange endings.
how can love be treated as a dare?
weird notions.
Zadie Smith's On Beauty is really deep.
i have only managed to understand fragments of it.
i think reading is even better than talking to anyone else in the world.
at least books dont hurt you.
but people do.
they will never stop doing that.
but i am so determined to not get upset anymore.
over insignificant things, insignificant people and worthless matters.
sometimes i wish i hadnt have to love them.
those people who blatantly do that thing.
but on saying that i still love them all over again.
what can i do?
God wants me to.
so you see how hard is it to love people?
and i really mean forgive and accept wholeheartedly.
i came to see their flaws and realized they werent even perfect.
i always knew its a joy to be with people .
sometimes im smiling and i dont even know why.
im tearing and i dont even know why.
im laughing crazily but i dont know why.
thats scary.
i have always believed that being natural with others is something so pleasant and endearing.
talking to different ppl at different times and places is rewarding.

MD: thank you for making me feel so blessed. you dont question my decisions but you respect them. thats enough. im happy that way. :)

J: thank you. i only can say these 2 words to you. you know what i mean.
WX: thank you for the notes you always give me when i fall sick. they made me want to get well. you always write: study+play=healthier amanda.
yah right. when does your body work that way? anyhow. tks. i appreciate your thoughtfulness.

i realize sometimes i really do get .......... i dont know.
md's words arent true. you lied! hnnh!what the crap abt ........NONSENSE

Chasing Cars--- Snow Patrol
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes,
They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that
these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?