Saturday, May 13, 2006
THE PAINS OF A FIGURE-SKATERi guess there's just more to life than skating.
i wished i could master those jumps and spins well
yet its been a while since traning has paused.
and i did feel lost at first.
its time to get back a little now.
mummy told me something so devastating
today.
"i havent seen u skate for quite some time"
and i was crying out loud in my heart.
i have been using studies as an excuse.
the truth is, i am running away.
why cant i face it.
why must i be afraid of something i love?
i donr know why it became like that.
nowadays ppl having been saying.
oh, so u are a figure-skater.
huiping. .....
blah....
so?
i ask mysrlf.
IS THAT GREAT
im pained.
mummy wants to bring me there to work on my spins.
i told her i had no time.
i just said that.
but staring at them today,
i teared again.
the mastery of fine blades on ice.
right.
but could i define it like that?
isnt skating suppose to be skating the way it feels and not how it looks.
im supposed to pick myself up after each fall, each snide remark,
each criticism.
maybe it shld have been that way.
i will get stronger.
i hope so.
and embrace everything thats ugly,
because gnarled beauty becomes renewed beauty in the Lord's miracles and
LOVE.
i dont want to cry out love in the centre of the earth anymore.
i wull be strong for Him.
To all who reads this,
learn to lean on Him,
because He wants more of You.
im struggling too, because sometimes i keep away from my focus on Him,
but coming back is most important.
its coming Home to
be still in His presence.
im determined to pick myself up after each fall
though how hard and tiring,
because He does give me the strength to do anytihing, everything in Him.
and to J.
pls do not be so upset.
I can only pray that u will get better.
Friends are the strings on the violin.
Even if the music fades,
the strings still remains,.
and even if the strings snaps,
then its time to buy a new one,
hopefully with 6 billion ppl out there,
you will find one who loves you in Christ as much as i do.
Rach: i dont know what to say, but i do want to live every moment for God. Because life is not measured by the no. of breaths we take, but the moments which take our breath away. sorry that i am irritated at time. pls forgive me.
ax: thanks for talking to me that day.
i felt much better.
thanks for always being there for me.
Where were you when i was tearing at one corner?
it doesnt matter anymore.
God loves thee.
