Friday, April 20, 2007
jaded

this week has been so busy.
but there are many things to be happy about too.
congrats WL:) for being champion in xc cpships.
tests went by just fine.
gold with honours:)
i survived well this week.

Lit really is the lesson which i look forward to everyday.
Its the most dynamic.
Talked to rach, jess, mad... this week.
Im glad poly life is still fine for rach.
i want to walk to her school someday:)
A few annoying things happened this week.
Not forgetting that person who keeps hurling vulgarities.
I told him to wash his mouth !
I have been really bad to all the guys in my class, but ...
hahaha.
I got my favourite song now.
augstana's Boston.

I havent mustered the courage to stand up there to give devotions, but i will soon.

Hope you who are reading this now will have a good weekend ahead :)

amanda.

Thursday, March 08, 2007
the magic 3 words

today,
i was very touched because a good friend of mine
told me something that made my day.
thank you.

I see so many appeal forms in the office,
so many opting out,
so many , undecided.
Just when people who dont want to get in do get in
but people who really want to, have to be left out.
I was really disappointed to hear it from someone else.
I pieced every single thing you told me in the past.
your actions, words, sincerity.
Then i realize that i actually dont know anything about this friend.

But this friend should know something right now.
I am wishing her all the best, just like the way i tell my other friends.
This friend is no longer special.
This friend caused herself to fade.
She is just like the world.
And I say,
all the best then.

Studies is still manageable.
I guess God gives me strength everyday.
What I do lay down
comes true in a significant way.
The interviews, the reports and essays were so painful, yet I could
not only pass but triumph.
Because of someone so amazing and beautiful.
These days i have been very trouble over making choices.
But i see things clearer noe.

Orientation today was fine.
I guess school's fine too.
Class outing on sat.
I am really hoping it works this time
because I flopped it the other time.
I guess everyone was disappointed/
I am happy that there are still certain people who are very cooperative in class.

HF: I dont blame you for your decision at all. Whatever you want, I will support you because i really hope you will be in a school where you will truly be happy.

MD: Cheer up, im here.
You are still extraordinary in all your ways.
Please dont worry so much :)

Jess: i only want to say: Walk with Him.
Its the greatest prize, not the worldly gains.

Rach: Im glad that you have made a choice that u are happy with. I will visit you in your sch some day! we will visit the 6 eating places in your school, im sure:)

Goodnight .

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

this week has been a roller-coaster.
i have just finished this pre Unisem thing when the deadline's
tomorrow.
I thank Him again.

For battling swimming p.e with a fever.
For the words that He spoke to me.
For recovering from a chronic cough
despite mass p.e and swimming.
For letting me not only survive school,
but live and enjoy it.
People always say that there's some culture here,
well, first hand immersion was frightening .
It was like entering a deep dark tunnel without even knowing whether
there would be a spark, much lest a beacon of light.
Sometimes, this is the kind of insecurities I have been getting,
but I am over them now.
I used to have so many of them,
each one surged through,
leaving me in a flurry of emotions.
Who is ever real here, you ask me.
I have no answer.
If it were so easy to give you an answer, I would have
found it.
But I havent.
I still know what and how He wants me to treat them.
Without malice,
nor hypocrisy.
Just simple love.
pure .
that's the beauty that made this heart adore Him.
Its simply doing everything and anything, even if it means denying yourself.
Would you want to do that for Him?

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

school's fine.
from the day i stepped through those gates, i
started to wonder if I am really
able to be after His heart still even when I clearly know and have proved that
superficiality reigns here.
I have proved that knowledge.
its not a belief.
but i know people who are really great here too.
This, I thank God.
Chapel on mon.
The reason i hang on there is just to start praising Him every morning
before my day starts.
There are so many challenges ahead.
Im still undecided on my cca and complete combi.

However, i really thank Him still.
Meanwhile, as much as i still delve on the past,
i want to move on.
so this is to peihua and ning.
please hang in there
Ph: please smile .

i met so many people and saw so much of reality.
some are myths but some are true.
but i can still tolerate the lectures for one thing.
I guess I know what I really want to achieve for these 2 years ahead.

the pain came back during lectures.
so you see, no matter how unhappy or dissatisfied with anything
or anyone, i still am thankful.
if you were me, you would understand.
I have to survive with this, not that i do have any option.
but to me, He isnt an option i summon at the last minute just to fill in that
blank space, rather, the only answer to my questions I have for life .

everyone's telling me they hate school so much.
But what's more pleasurable to end of a day at school well, knowing that you have
put that smile on His face?

Where's that irrepressible smile of yours?
Do you intend to erase it and let your life be a blank canvas?

I dont.

Monday, December 11, 2006

amanda s









mrs yeoh!















gen and i









we went for a Thai Service today at Lavender Street.
Its so endearing to know how despite being foreign to the language,
we were still able to understand their longing for Him.
They were singing and crying with love, summoning their deepest fears and pains
just to place them at the foot of the Cross.
I had always wanted to do that.
There were countless times that I just didnt have the courage to tell
Him how pained I was at the altar.
It takes a lot to do that.
really.

I know so many people who chase after Him, and yet chase after the fluff.
Is pretty the only humane word?
Is joy only associated with tangible things?
So how do you explain joy?

This year's different.
Lesser cards written, lesser presents bought, lesser of me.
More of Him.

I remember asking someone a question .
But she didnt give me the answer I expected.
The trip gave me so many thoughts.
How I realize, we were two people, of two different origins,
standing apart on separate mountain peaks,
once unaware of the many differences we had.
Up till today, I have only realized that we didnt understand the same
language .
of simply caring.

Answers?

I will have to talk to Him first.

or probably by the time I have gotten the answers,
you would have already forgotten your questions .
would you?

sawat dii kha till 28th,
amanda

Saturday, November 25, 2006

PROM PICTURES under ' leaving' section.
( scroll down)

the pics are rather blur. sorry for this.

shall update abt Prom , fully explained in words another day.
goodnight.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

the best picture i have ever taken








PAM:)




















amanda club +gen

4 hrs compensated
because of mad occupying the entire bed and yj's snoring.
woke up thrice in the night
because yj kept grinding her teeth!
sumin and sam still pulled us up at 8 45.
she threathened me again saying that she would call _______
if i dont wake up.
so hilarious! i dont even care anymore.
talking to sam,arfah and sy upstairs was revitalizing.
then b's idea to finish up the coke and noodles at 12 45p.m.
yj's hostel stories were amusing.
we only talked until 2.30, however ,
im still angry with mad for saying abt the class pos
stuff.
yj screamed at us for talking about results.
she's cranky when she sleeps
trust me, mad flips and tosses more than 6 times in an hour.
i almost suffocated under yj's squeezing .
so in the end, i slept at their stinky feet.
gosh, and its hf fault.
because i was really contemplating to leave.
then she had to go: stay, stay,stay.
horrendous woman who laughed just because i dropped the paper bag
while falling asleep on the mrt railing.
her laughter just 'blatantly' added on to the embarrassment.
hf, the glares were enough!
never mind, i hope you will keep to your promise what u will do on that day,
because this is the last favour im asking of you.

so now, off to PAE.
things to do before grad night: settle PAE, call mad,gen about salon and mv tickets.
maybe to pick daddy from the airport, then arrange hotel stuff, pack the farewell letters in, confirm where to meet and check-in................
i dont knw if the midnight movie is still on.
on saying,
its pam's liberation day tomorrow!
a whole 2 months of agony is finally ending for her.
Happy post A's my dear.
and that means i have to go out with her.
i havent even stopped gg out the day Os ended.
never mind, im willing to do anything for her
because she's to me, the most beautiful person i have ever met.

goodnight.
please take care,
amanda